My cat gives me a boner
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
