Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
