i wish peter jackson would direct porn
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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