Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
