wakey wakey hands off snakey
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
