I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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