The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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