Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The power of my boobs compel you
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
