Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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