Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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