this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
