theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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