Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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