I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
no, he came in my armpit
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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