Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
