Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
