i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
