So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
