bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
