no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
