I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
look no pants
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
