I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
it glows. i had to have it.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
