pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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