just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
what day is it and did you see me today?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
