matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
