Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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