I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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