i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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