We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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