Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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