I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
