Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
my liver is dry heaving
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize