i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
