OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
