Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
