the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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