when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You pole danced in your parka.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
