Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize