ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Too much gin, very little bucket
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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