You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
