fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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