Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
