wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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