What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
