Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
