false alarm. still invincible.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
