I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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