is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
