Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
