My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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