69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
