I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
How external is "for external use only"?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
